"Bacalao sin Pan, y sin Bacalao"

Stage Performance that was part of "Havana in Hi & Low FIDELity" project. Presented at "17 Frost Art Space", Brooklyn, NY, 2009. Guitar: Javier Hernandez Millares. Drums: Alex Garcia.

In the late 1970’s, a song by the music band Irakeres became very popular in Cuba. That song was “Bacalao con pan” (cod-fish sandwich). Reflecting the changes on the Cuban society and its economy, this performance adopts Irakere's song title, albeit some "minor" changes. The translation of this performance's title would be something like “breadless cod-sandwich and without codfish”. Here is the narrative of this performance (bilingual):

Sandunga! Sandunguera!

God dammed! It’s not even noon and I’m sweating like a pig! I’ve got to leave the house! I can’t stay here anyway! I have to pretend I’m going to work every day, otherwise la monada will put me behind bars under the charge of being a “potential danger to society”. Like if working for the government would be a good thing to do. This is something like forced labor.

But I’m not going to change that, so I have to get adapted. That’s why I pretend I’m going to work every day. But of course the police will also stop me on the street, and ask me if I’m working. I always answer that I do, that I work for the United Nations, representing the Cuban government. When they ask for proof I claim diplomatic immunity. But that’s not entirely false! In a way I feel like I work for the UN. Only that I’m not officially recognized as so. But I do walk the streets of Havana looking for female tourist with which to establish a bilateral relationship. For that I use my “Instrument of Peace”. My peace maker “Magic Wand”. Through the years in service I have bring a good deal of the Europeans country and Canada much closer to Cuba, and my promise is that if the American embargo ever ends, I will be in charge of uniting the female US population with Cuba, by means of my Instrument of Peace. After that I will probably get official recognition by the UN as official ambassador to the First World!

Yes Sir!

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Pupi! El sandunguero de Pogoloti! El hijo de Nene!

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Que bola Paco! Ya eres Espanol? Entonces te piras pronto. No?

That’s Paco, a buddy from my neighborhood! He is getting the Spanish citizenship. Yeap! The Spanish embassy is now giving the Spanish citizenship to all Spanish descendants. People are speculating that soon half of the Cuban population will be Spanish, and that a quarter of the country's population will leave for Spain.

I’m black, so once again I’m fucked. I do not fit on that scheme. I’m an African descendant, but Africa is a huge continent and I do not even know where my ancestors came from. Maybe from the Congo, Ghana, or Nigeria. But any of these countries are giving citizenship to us black Cubans. But the questions would also be: do I want to go back to Congo or Nigeria? Fuck not! I think the real solution would be that the Spanish embassy stop giving the citizenship to so many Cubans except for one family: the Spanish descendant Castro family.

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Chango! El Misterioso! Rompe la paila!

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Someone told me that Jesus Christ came to Cuba once. That’s kind of hard to believe, but that is not the point. The point is that, you know he used to say all the time: “Love each other”. So when he came he said that, but after two weeks on the island he just said: “make love to each other”.

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Que bola Macorina? Por que no me pones la mano aqui?

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My neighbor came to visit Cuba recently. He left the country back in the 80’s, when the Mariel lift boats. The guy kept asking me if an earthquake had taken place. I told him that as far as I knew, there wasn’t. I knew of “stomach-quake”, due to the lack of iria (food), but no of earthquake. He couldn’t believe, after seeing all the destruction around. I told him that that was normal, that some things have to be destroyed in other to build our Socialism. We are building Castro’s Socialism, which is like to say “Castrated Socialism”.

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Cuba: territorio Libre de America! Miami: teritorio libre de Cuba!

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I do not believe in such a thing as the Yumas (North Americans) will invade Cuba. They want us to have democracy here, but they won’t “delivered” unless we have oil in here. Me always make sure they know that I’m drinking coffee when I do, just in case they have one of those spying plane looking for a “black spot”.

But if the Yumas come, I do not know how the fuck we are going to defend ourselves! The only weapon I have practiced with in the last twenty years is my “sword”, but I turn it into an “instrument of peace” long ago. But let’s say the Yumas want to send an “all female battalion”, something like “The Blond Regiment of South Dakota”. Then I wouldn’t mind fighting! I would fight until my sword breaks!

But if they send a female regiment, I won’t fight, because I’m not a pinguero.

One way or another, better if the doesn’t come. I’m so hungry that I would surrender for a hamburger. And if the offer me a combo –something like burger with fries and coke- I will give them the country. Because it is true that I have honor, but I’m also really hungry! Tengo un hambre de pinga!

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Que bola mayimbe!?

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Yes men! Sometimes I wonder how a person is capable of establishing himself in power for over half a century turning a country into a piece of shit You know? The History has this capricious coincidence. The conquer of Mexico (the Azteca empire) by Hernan Cortez was conducted from Cuba, en 1519. Cortez wiped Montezuma’s Empire with only six hundred soldiers and sixteen horses! In 1957, “cara’e coco” departed with another eighty one men from Veracruz, the same port on which Cortez landed, and conquer Cuba, with a population of ten millions. Then he established himself as Emperor. He is Cuba’s Montezuma!

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Lazarito: el trombon de Guabacoa! Pueblo embrujado!

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El Nene who lives in la Yuma, became an American citizen. He told me that he raised his hand in order to pledge allegiance to the American flag. But he said he had become more Cuban ever since. He criticizes the Americans for keeping Guantanamo and using it as a prison cell on which illegal interrogations techniques are used. He says he is determined to keep the town of Hialeah in South Florida as a heaven for Cubans as long as the Americans keep Guantanamo.

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Some people I know are very optimistic. They do believe that a better future most be awaiting Cuba. I can only conceive that if I was to believe in the doctrine of re-incarnation, for this country is dead! It would have to be reborn if it hopes to be healthy.

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Of course sometimes I lost my head! Just the other day I was walking out on the street looking for food. I was so hungry that my stomach burns. Then I lost my head! I started screaming “I can’t wait for this fucking guy to die!” I do not pronounce his name, if they would it hear me they would it know I’m talking about “cara’e coco”. But they didn’t even hear me. I guess I was so weak that I couldn’t raise my voice. Or maybe it was that they were as hungry as me and they couldn’t hear me with the jingling of their guts.

I really don’t know where these people get the strength when it comes to proclaim political slogans.

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Nadie quiere a nadie! Se acabo el querer! I wrote a letter to my friend “El Ningo” in Miami, I I said to him: “Ningo: remember the days of bacalao sin pan? Well, those days are gone. That was back on the 70’s. Now we have bacalao sin pan, y sin bacalao”

Well, I have to wipe out. La monada is coming, and I do not have my UN identification.

Chao pescao! Voy en pira!